Kumbaya!

CNN reports today (via Bookninja) that the Church of Jesus wanted to have itself a little book bonfire, but Cedar Rapids, Iowa city officials put the kibosh on it. Reverend Scott Breedlove thought the book burning would be a great community building experience (don't forget the hot dogs and marshmallows honey!) and rid the world of books offensive to God. Does God even read? And if He did, how is it that the good Reverend is privy to the Almighty's reading preferences? Is even our Lord subject to clandestine Patriot Act searches? If God does read I think it far more likely that he'd find most offensive poorly written smarmy books like those Chicken Soup books or the New American Bible translation rather than something likeThe Color Purple or Huck Finn. Since the bonfire was thwarted the Church of Jesus had to go with plan B:

The new plan calls for members of the church to throw materials into garbage cans and then light candles to symbolically "burn" the material.

I want to know where these upright church going folks got their offensive materials? Did they "borrow them indefinitely" from the library, or did they purchase them? In one case it would be theft--sin!--and in the other they would be helping to contribute to the livelihood of the godless heathens that wrote the books. It's a no win situation for them if you ask me. And to top it off they just get little candles. It's hard to sing campfire songs around candles. But I'm sure their righteous will carry them through.