Was It Good For You?

Tom Wolfe won the illustrious Bad Sex Award yesterday for this passage from I Am Charlotte Simmons:

Hoyt began moving his lips as if he were trying to suck the ice cream off the top of a cone without using his teeth ... Slither slither slither slither went the tongue, but the hand that was what she tried to concentrate on, the hand, since it has the entire terrain of her torso to explore and not just the otorhinolaryngological caverns ...

Wow, that's got hot and steamy all over it. Wolfe beat out some tough competition. Take this passage from Nobel Prize winner André Brink's book, Before I Forget

the vulva itself ... was of unusual plumpness, almost spherical, like a large exotic mushroom in the fork of a tree, a little pleasure dome if ever I've seen one, where Alph the sacred river ran down to a tideless sea.

Coleridge is spinning in his grave at this very moment.